a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
