I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
