She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
