Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Randomize
