Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
