I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
