If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
