i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
