i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I yelled at your uterus for you.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize