Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
