I wanna bring you to show and tell
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
