Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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