He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
