I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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