I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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