Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
