and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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