stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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