I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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