He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
