I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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