dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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