Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
