North Korea, Best Korea!
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
