I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Sext me about skeletons
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
