And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
