Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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