you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
