idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
