ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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