I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
