Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
