we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
