so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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