I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize