Dual....:-)
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
