ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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