I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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