don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
