Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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