that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
