She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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