im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
