pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
