I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I want to fling myself into the sun
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
