There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
