have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
