Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
