i think my tv is drunk
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize