I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
