Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
