Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize