who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
how drunk are you?
Several
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
