Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
well, you know. whores of a feather.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
