Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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