You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
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Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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