"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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