Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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