He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
