Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize