okay pat passed out under dana's car
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
