My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize